48 and Counting

WARNING: Some images are graphic in nature and might be disturbing to some viewers. Proceed at your own risk.

April. A month that usually has great weather. Spring flowers, cool breezy days with great fishing. April, the fourth month of the calendar year and a festive month for its bright and cheerful colors to bring us from the cold and the dulls of winter. April is a special month for Becke and I as it holds a lot of important dates for us. Here, let me break this down. April 15th. 2009, Becke and I started our exclusive relationship. April 1st 2013, I proposed for her hand in Marriage. April 10th 2014, the Carolina Hurricanes lost it’s last game of the season to the Capitols. Upon leaving the game, Becke had tripped on some of the concrete walkway and complained of stomach pains. April 11th 2014, she was admitted to the hospital at Rex UNC with a septic bowel leak that we didn’t know had even happened. Our Wedding day, April 18th 2015, she was rushed to WakeMed Cary, from Topsail Island, 30 min prior to our wedding starting so the following day, April 19th, I married her in the hospital room. April 13th 2018, we proceeded to surgery #48 in 4 years and 7 days. It’s been a long journey to this point and quite honestly Becke or my self thought we wouldn’t make it this far. We have had a lot of close calls and a lot of it we have never told other than our immediate family. She has been brought back to us once before, and at times her state of life was so grim we didn’t expect her to make it past some surgeries. But after I wipe my tears as I drove us to the hospital this bright early morning on the 13th, I thought it was the last time because I kept having the same dream. That’s something that I have buried deep inside and locked away. Never to be spoken of again, as some things are better left untold. April just holds alot of meaning for us, and come April of 2019, it will be 10 years together as a couple and honestly, Im not sure I would have it any other way. So, today, lets sit back and reflect on April 13th, 2018 as it unfolded, because its a huge milestone for Becke.

It was another early morning. Awake all night, to nervous about the next mornings surgery. The apartment is quiet, the kids are sleeping, and Becke and I laid in bed just holding hands. We tried to sleep, I think we both got maybe 2 or 3 hours throughout the whole night at best. We woke the boys up, gathered everything we pre-packed the night before and headed out the door for Duke, while Larry and Alice met us at the Hospital. The surgery is headed by 3 of our Dr’s from Duke within Becke’s team. First up, opening her up and making sure the intestines were okay and out of the way was Dr. Sudan in Transplants, she’s amazing and if not for her surgery on July 18th, 2016 Becke would have left us, thankfully she’s still fighting. Next doing the majority of the surgery was Dr. Peterson in Urology, who had been helping us fight this bladder fistula since it formed in July 2016, he was behind us 100% and helped us by doing experimental procedures to find a way to force this fistula to close naturally, sadly we lost the natural closure fight by a slim margin and knew this surgery was inevitable. Next up, Dr. Erdmann from Plastics, doing closure and skin graphs. He took some muscle and stuff to help create a new facia lining along the cut to help thicken what little abdominal wall Becke had left. What we expected to be a 6-8 hour surgery turned into a 4-5 hour surgery, which was great news. These three doctors are the head of their departments at Duke and we were so grateful they were able to help us. Eventually, Dr. Peterson came in to talk with Larry & Alice and myself. Here is a recording of that before I forget.

Today is July 29th, 2018. Becke has since had another 10 surgeries and procedures since this date and her recovery is going absolutely great. Things have been a LONG road traveled and Becke has come so far since the start of this. We still have more to go, but her fight and willpower to go on is so strong and so beautiful that she’s going to win this. One day forward, one step at a time, we grind out the next day, one challenge at a time. Attached are some pictures from the surgery that day. Caution, some images may be graphic in nature.